11/29/2004 10:30:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|Losing my Religion The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so long. I am saying (writing) it for the first time today: I am leaving the church. Wow, it really hurts to write that. I have been struggling over this for a long time and I just had to make a decision. It's time for me to part ways with the Mormon faith. I am grappling feelings of guilt and selfishness and God knows what else, but I just can't do this anymore. It's not fair to me and its not fair to the church. I'm scared because the Mormon religion is all I've ever known. I don't know where to go from here. I'm scared because I know what this means in Mormonism. And I just have to let go the best that I can. It's not easy. I believe that the LDS church has many wonderful teachings and members. I believe most members are genuinely good people who are trying to live their lives the best way possible. I just can't believe in all the rest of it. It's too political, too discriminatory, too money-driven and too zealous. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach right now. I have always defended this religion with every breath in my body and I can't do it anymore. This is the strangest feeling in the world, so sad and so shameful and so heart-broken. I grew up in this church, it has been the only religion I've believed in. It's a wonderful feeling to be part of something special like that and now I feel like the world's biggest black sheep. There's no going back now. I have made my peace with God. I don't feel like I am any way, shape or form less spiritual that I have ever been. I feel like my relationship with God is in fine standing and that he understands why I have to do this. I am afraid of the repercussions in this world, though. What do you do when your family is full of "Super-Mormons?" Lie? Pretend? Hedge? After my Granny and then my Dad died, I really feel like the last people that I was "being Mormon" for are gone. I can't believe how horrible this feels. I hope that wherever they are, they aren't disappointed in me. I just can't keep living a lie. I don't believe in the church anymore. Period. This is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult things I have ever gone through in my life. So I have made my decision and I feel absolutely dreadful, yet honest. I have hung on as long as I could in good conscious. Probably too long. I will not bad mouth the Mormon church or harbor any ill will towards them whatsoever. I respect their teachings and their gospel. I now have to go about getting my name removed from the records and dealing with the process of ex-communication. It's going to be very trying and I will have to rely on God's guidance more than ever (as if I haven't had to in the past year, right?). God, be with me. |W|P|110179261971276672|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/28/2004 01:03:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|I hit the pinnacle of lazy today; I slept in until 11:30 this "morning." Yes, it felt wonderful, but I do have to meet Q at the library at one so that means I have to hustle my ass into gear, pronto. So why am I writing? It gives me an excuse to sit and relax with my coffee for a moment. And we all know I have my coffee priorities! I have yet to make my double batch of banana bread. I am going to try so hard tonight to get 'er done. :-) I didn't study at all so far. What a schmuck! Just like me to get four days off of school and spend them doing nothing. I got The Sims 2 last night. Looks interesting, but is super slow. I have 512MB Ram and a 2.4gH processor but apparently that's not enough. I have been deleting mp3s offa my HD in hordes because they're taking over. *sigh* What's a girl to do? Well, I better take off. Q will give me hell if I'm late. Talk to you cats later, |W|P|110166863213119161|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/27/2004 11:27:00 AM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|As I have stated before, if I wasn't a Biology major, I'd be a Music major. That being said, if I wasn't a Music major, I'd be a spy. *LOL* I had a lot of espionage dreams last night. I don't know what I was spying on or looking for, but there were many different scenarios. I love dreams. They make you feel unusual. Have y'all heard Aneurysm by Nirvana? It kicks ass so I recommend listening to it immediately and brightening your day with the sounds of its slick drum beats and hypnotic guitars. (Not to mention that Kurt Cobain's voice will most definitely wake your ass up in the morning!) :-D I'm a little sore today. I have been running again for the first time in about two months. Instead of running one night and recuperating the next day, I decided to go ahead and run two days in a row. I am trying so hard to get back on the "health wagon." I am afraid if I leave myself a day off, I may not get back on. So, I am going to continue to run until it stops hurting. Then I'll take a day off. I had lost 15 pounds when I started running this summer. I then put 10 back on when I stopped. Unacceptable, I say! I started writing down some of my memoirs yesterday, as per my Mom's suggestion. I wrote a little about Taylorview Junior High School and the shenanigans I spent my days concocting there. Those were the days.... I talked to Kelli on the phone yesterday and she reminded me of this incident in American History in 8th grade. We were in Ms. Driscoll's class (bitch extrordinaire) and this dude in class offered these pills called cross-tops to everyone. He said they were like no-doz. So, we all partook and things went downhill from there. We started lighting pants on fire and spraying desks with hairspray and starting them on fire. We were shoving things in the electrical outlets, trying to short them out (or electrocute someone?). Why Ms. Driscoll didn't notice any of this going down is beyond me. That room absolutely reeked of fumes. She was totally evil, though. She told me that I would be a pregnant teenager and a high school drop-out that wouldn't amount to anything (just the kind of teacher you want molding young peoples minds, right?). I was pregnant when I was a teenager (but 19!) and I did drop out of high school (hello, I'm now a Junior with a 3.8 GPA, National Deans List, Phi Theta Kappa!) but was it her place to state that? Hell no! Well, I finally tackled those disgusting dishes yesterday and did the mountain of laundry. Today I am going to bake a double batch of banana bread and work on my ecology peer review and the primary literature I have to discuss next Friday. Did I mention that it's my turn to be the discussion leader? I am a little nervous about that, but I will just have to get over it! If I could give speeches in my public speaking class, I can lead a roundtable discussion on some mox-nix fish article. My skin is beginning to clear up again. I think a little R&R is what was needed. Plus I haven't worn makeup in three days- that helps. Yes, it is crunch time and finals are around the corner, but so is vacation!! I am so excited to go home and see my family and friends. And to go on a 1200 mile drive. I need my road trips! I hope it snows a lot while I am there. Not as much as last year, mind you! That was some freak blizzard season or something. I do love to see the mountains and pine trees blanketed in snow, though. It's as beautiful a picture as one can imagine. So, even though I am a little freaked out about finals and my ecology presentation, I am more excited about the prospect of getting the hell out of Clovis. ;-) Have a great Saturday, everyone. Relax with a good cup of joe (as I am) and let nothing worry you today! |W|P|110158173577813216|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/25/2004 05:36:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. I hope your day was filled with friends and family and that you all had something to give thanks for. :-) I am thankful for God's guidance and protection, my beautiful kids, family, friends, pets, shelter, food, clothing, transportation, education, indoor plumbing, hot water, electricity and all the goodies that run on it, heating and air conditioning, the internet, books, coffee, and all of nature. I have so much to be thankful for and I am truly blessed. :-) Dinner wasn't horrible this year, which was a plus. The setting was a little poisonous but I don't even want to go there right now. Suffice it to say that I wish like hell that I was in Idaho right now with my Mom and sister. I miss you guys more than you know. I can't wait for Christmas so that I can see you again! Until then, I will immerse myself in school so that I don't have to dwell on my current, lonely situation. (A- I would also love to be with you and yours, sipping a glass of delicious wine!) Well, as I had mentioned a couple of posts ago, I have been living like a bachelor and my house is in desperate need of a clean up. That's my plans for the night. Don't everyone get green with envy at once.... ;-D Love you all. Miss you all. P.S. I took it waaaay easy on the turkey this year so that I wouldn't fall into a tryptophan-induced coma while driving back from Lubbock.|W|P|110142941701666984|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/24/2004 11:38:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|Mom, I get the feeling that you are definitely going to want to skip this one! So, just quit reading if you want to remember me as a good, chaste teenager. Thanks. Now that the parental disclaimer is taken care of, let me describe my day. Let's start with the theme of the day: hormones. What's the deal? I haven't had raging hormones since I was a teenager. And because it has been that long, I spent much of my day thinking back to those days of carefree, ahem, "partnerships." Mom, I'll repeat this one more time. You shouldn't be reading this!! One in particular. This guy Zack that I used to work with. At the time, I had a big-time crush on this guy, Shad, that I also worked with. Zack would take me over to spy on Shad's house late at night and we'd just hang out. Zack drove this absurd, little red Ford Festiva. It was like one of those clown cars you'd attempt to stuff twelve people in. Not only that, the entire hatch was full of speakers and amps and it had one of those neon lights under it. Yeah. Totally embarrassing to be seen in! Anywhoo....I guess it was my raging hormones or something, but one night whilst spying on dear Shad's abode, one thing led to another.....(Yeah, in the Festiva.) I was never really attracted to Zack. I found him to be rather unintelligent and frankly not that good looking, but, damn. He had other talents. (Mom, if you're reading this, you're in big trouble, missy!) So after that, Zack and I had a semi-clandestine "partnership." Our little partnership went swimmingly for awhile until I felt a bit like I was stringing him along and I ended it. Too bad. Like I said: talents. I tell you what I miss. The freedom to do what you wanted and not worry about the consequences. I had a lot of fun as a teenager. Mind you, I was not a slut, but I did have fun. There was nothing quite like going to a mosh at the New Sweden Grange Hall and making out with some skater that you thought was hot. Letting those wonderful currents run through your body. Not giving a second thought about it, never caring about the next day. It was great! So there I was in class today, reminiscing on my various sexual adventures (Mom, I so told you that you wouldn't want to read this, didn't I?) and missing the hell out of them. And with my raging hormones who knows when I can get back to normal? I haven't felt like this in so long I just don't know what to do with myself. It's nice, though. For the longest time I haven't even thought about sex. Not at all. I guess it takes not getting any to make you want it? Who knows? I'll enjoy these new found feelings while they last and hope that I'll be able to pay attention in school. I hope everyone has a most beautiful Thanksgiving and that you all have something to be thankful for. :-) P.S. Both my dogs are here sleeping and they are making the strangest noises...|W|P|110136469665081795|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/23/2004 01:46:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|Today I am a fountain of spontaneous emotional outbreaks. Today is Jenny's very shitty day. I guess that because Christmas is around the corner, I am starting to dwell more and more on the events of last Christmas and I am getting very sad. I have been staying up later and later to study and write and take care of all the school work I have piling up on me. With finals week around the corner, I am starting to stress out, big time. My face reflects that quite nicely. :-( I can't seem to remember anything lately and so I have again resorted to writing reminder on my hands so I won't forget important tasks. My poor lizard is probably starving because I keep forgetting to order crickets for him. I have been seriously neglecting my dogs and that bothers me a lot. They need attention and I am straight up not able to give it to them. My house is turning into the world's biggest pig sty. I am just feeling so crappy, I can't even describe it. I feel like I am on the verge of a public outburst. I have all of this anxiety and nervous energy right under the surface. I can physically feel it roiling and bubbling and waiting to come out. I am not sure how much longer I can maintain normality. Hydrotherapy hasn't been helping- I have resorted to at least two "relaxing" baths [read: studying in the tub] a week and I am still wound up tight. I am on a rollercoaster of emotion and I need help. P.S. I am in love with this song, Jenny Was a Friend of Mine, by The Killers. Mind you it's not because my name is in the title. It just kicks ass.|W|P|110123957172853972|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/20/2004 10:33:00 AM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|I am a changed person. The Carnivore Conference was incredible. I learned so much about biology, conservation, management and social issues regarding carnivores. I spent three days learning about Mountain Lions, Grizzly Bears, Gray and Mexican Gray Wolves. I learned more in three days than I could have in a semester of school. I learned about the many non-profit organizations out there, dedicated to protecting these species. I learned how USFWS works in partnerships with these groups. I learned about the many challenges facing the survival of these beautiful creatures. Mainly us. I had the opportunity to listen to the top carnivore scientists and managers in the nation as well as many from around the world. I met with authors and editors of leading wildlife literature. I very well may have the opportunity to do an internship at a wolf center in my home state of Idaho. I met so many people like me: that love these creatures and want nothing more than to see them thrive here in the US. It was three days of great coffee and fabulous food in a beautiful city (Santa Fe). Three days of feeling a sense of excitement and understanding among hundreds of people from many different walks of life. Three days of absolute joy. But I haven't even mentioned the best part, the most important to me... Magpie (Maggie) and Raven. They were the two Gray Wolves that I met at the conference. They're called Ambassador wolves and they were brought by Mission : Wolf. A group of about thirty of us gathered in a circle, legs folded "indian style," and learned about the wolves socialization, why they had been socialized and what to expect since, frankly, these are still wild animals we're talking about. He told us how the wolves pick up on our emotions, if they sense that we're excited, they too will become excited. If we are scared, they will sense that and become aloof from us. However, he said that the best we could do was to stay calm and we would have the best of encounters. I tried my best, but I was so excited! When they finally brought the wolves into the room, my heart exploded with joy! They were so beautiful, so like and unlike dogs they were! First of all, they were huge. Very well fed, obviously, but they had these enormous paws and quite long claws. Their morphology is so different from dogs. I don't think I'll ever think that Huskies or Malamutes look like them again. They have these incredible golden eyes that seem to see right through you. They're quite simply everything I would have dreamed of and more. They were on leashes, but their caretakers let the leashes hang slackly and the wolves began to greet us. They way these wolves greet is by coming up to you, pushing forward on you and licking you all over the face. Unlike most wild animals, these wolves require you to look in their eyes and bare your teeth at them. It felt quite silly to do so, but the wolves would literally knock you over until you bared your teeth and opened your eyes. I had no problem doing this, but I saw many others with their eyes tightly closed and not bearing their teeth. As you might imagine, the wolves just would not leave them alone until they mustered enough courage to do what the wolves expected. I wasn't greeted by Maggie, but I was greeted twice by Raven. Maggie seemed to fall in love with this guy sitting on the other side of the circle and would not leave him alone. She actually laid down at his feet and let him pet her belly! I thought it was just incredible to see that. The neat thing was that, while she was laying there, she seemed to be staring right at me. I felt quite a connection, but I don't want to go into it (my classmates have already nicknamed me the "Wolf Whisperer" after I told them about my spiritual experience)! When Raven approached me, my heart was beating so fast- I was unable to contain my excitement. She licked me all over my face and I grabbed her by the neck and petted her. Her fur was so soft. It was really coarse and felt somewhat springy on the whole. It was completely different than any dog fur I've ever felt. Back to the licking of my face- I never let dogs lick my face because I think it's totally disgusting. However, these wolves eat raw meat and bones and the bones actually "brush" their teeth. The wolves have absolutely no odor to their breath. Isn't that amazing?! Their general smell reminded me a little of hay or straw. A very clean, wild smell. My olfactories really loved it. When I bared my teeth at Raven, she licked my teeth and moved on to the person beside me. The caretakers told us many things while the wolves "worked" the room. One was that their coats hadn't been brushed for four months. They groom their themselves (I wish my dogs could do that). Also the wolves could sense when people were under a lot of stress and tended not to spend a lot of time with them. (I couldn't help but wonder what sort of horrific stress vibes I was putting off, stressing myself out even more!) They talked about how people think that wolves should be pets or buy wolf-dog hybrids and how 99% of the time, these people have to abandon their "pets." And how Mission : Wolf tours the country trying to educate people about the truth of wolves and their survival. The ambassador wolves have even been called in during tense meetings between ranchers, farmers, wolf advocates and biologists to help lighten the mood. Ranchers that have sworn hatred to wolves have let down their guard long enough to meet these special animals and see the beauty in what they're really hating. Before they left, we got too see them tear apart a box in search of kibble (they were trying to demonstrate what happens if a wolf were your pet). Maggie and Raven started wrestling all over the place and "fighting" with each other (Raven had recently displaced Maggie and the alpha, so we saw a lot of dominance/submissive social behavior). At one point, they were right in my lap and the lap of the person sitting next to me. It was so cool to watch them. The stinky guy next to me broke it up because he was worried they were going to bite his feet on accident. What a wuss! After one last greeting by Raven, the wolves left. I had to go outside and cry after this most emotional encounter. Emotional because I love wolves and care so much about their survival but also because my Dad loved wolves and I know how much he would have loved that meeting as well. I felt a connection with him and it was pretty overwhelming for me. I was able to see the wolves twice more after that. Tuesday night at the banquet, Black Beaver of the Nez Perce tribe (in Idaho) spoke to us about his history with the wolves of Idaho and his own tribe's history. He talked about Global Warming (as Stuart Udall had earlier in the evening) and the denial that our country is in regarding it (don't I know). After that, he told us the legend of death and of coyote, his daughter, the 5 otter brothers and the wolf brothers. It was a beautiful story. He then played a song on his flute that symbolized the return of the wolves to their former lands. It was so beautiful. I had goose bumps the entire time he played it and again felt a connection with my Dad, who I know would have loved that as well. Finally, the wolves came in and greeted Black Beaver. It was like a meeting of old friends and I started crying, right there in the ballroom. It was so wonderful to see them like that. Another very cool thing was when Maggie went up to this wolf skin that Black Beaver had draped over the podium and started tugging at it. She recognized it for what it was and had every intention of taking it with her. It was very interesting and powerful to see that! The last day of the conference I was outside with my friend, Holly, as she was taking a smoke break. The Mission : Wolf people had assembled a group of the La Fonda's staff, housekeepers, etc., to meet the wolves. He invited the people on the street to come to, so I went up there and finally got to greet Maggie. It was the best thing ever. :-) Well, I have many tales and experiences to relate, but I must get going. I have to go to Portales to work on my Ecology project with my homeboys. Still elated, P.S. This is where I am applying for the internship: Wolf Education & Research Center P.P.S. We learned that dogs display wolf behavior when they experience separation anxiety (i.e. when they tear your house up after you leave). Basically, your dog(s) think of themselves as alphas and you are their pup. When you leave, they panic because they don't know your status. Cool, huh? Proof of this new found knowledge? When I came home, my dogs had completely shredded their blankets and dog bed. I couldn't get mad at them after learning what it really means.|W|P|110097201031913863|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/12/2004 04:42:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|It doesn't get much lower than this, peeps. I completely blew my Genetics exam this morning, lucky if I get a D, and got a C on my Vert. Zoo lab exam. Anatomy & Physiology just isn't my thing. I got all of the identifications, family, order and class names correct. I am not feeling too bueno right now. I am definitely on the verge of an emotional breakdown. It has been right under the surface all week long. It would do me well to get it out quickly before the Carnivore Conference. That leaves me two days to get it out of my system. Quick, someone insult me so I can start crying! Truth be told, I almost started crying when the lab assistent asked me how I did on the test. Just saying 76% out loud made me so sad. I knew going into it that I was going to do poorly on the A&P because I didn't study enough on them. It's just so disappointing to get that kind of grade. I would say now that it's time to step things up, but I've already done just that. I already feel sub-human right now. I have a killer headache as well. I think I need to just veg out tonight and let the rest of it go to hell...... It's gonna be a cold one. We've got a winter weather advisory. I hope the drive to Santa Fe isn't too rough. I'm sure it won't compare too the white-knucker's I've driven through up north. *L* Good hot cocoa night. Yeah. See ya on the flip side. |W|P|110030297310771678|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/10/2004 01:44:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|Zippadeedoodah! Zippadeeay! My, oh, my, what a wonderful day! I am on cloud nine right now and cannot get this shit-eating grin off of my face. :-D I aced my Vert. Zoo exam today. As well I should have. I mean, I studied and studied, and studied, ad nauseum. I studied right up to the very minute I took the exam. People can scoff and call me a geek, but I don't care! It feels damn fine to be in top form when your education is being questioned. I really don't give a shit how hard it was for my classmates. If they didn't study enough, too bad for them. I also got back my Fisheries Mgmt (lecture) exam. I got a 93.5! Yea! As you can imagine, the guys in class gave me shit about it (of course). I am at a point now where I am impervious to their jealousy, yes, jealousy. Why else would they chide me about every good grade I earn? One guy actually tried to make it seem that the reason I get good grades is because I don't have a job. And, that if he didn't have one, he'd get just as good grades. Excuse me?? This is the first semester that I haven't worked and I have a 3.8 GPA! I have worked full time, gone to school full-time and got a 4.0 for the semester! And, if that in itself isn't insulting enough, I am doing the single parent thing here! I do work. What does he do? Deliver pizzas. He has no kids, just a wife who apparently has been doing half of his schoolwork for him. Kiss my ass, man. Who in there works harder than me?? So, now that I have boasted about how well I am doing, I need to study for the Vert. Zoo lab exam & Genetics exam both scheduled for Friday. I have an incredibly ominous feeling about Genetics. I know it's winning and that I am sinking in a pit of academic quick sand. (Help!) I am just so overjoyed right now. :-) |W|P|110012033093118239|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/06/2004 01:13:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|Good morning? I slept in until 11:30 today and it was sublime. I actually woke up at 8:30, let the dogs out and debated waking up or going back to bed. My choice is no surprise to anyone, I'm sure. Anywhoo, after going back to bed, I had the strangest dream...... I was 16 or 17 and I was living in Idaho Falls with my Mom. One day, this mysterious letter showed up from some woman claiming to be my real mother. I didn't show my Mom because the whole thing was a bit Nancy Drew and what girl doesn't love a mystery? So, I decided one day to go ride my bike to this woman's house and check it out. It was all the way on the other side of town, quite the biking excursion. The quintessential dream thing was that this neighborhood definitely does not exist in Idaho Falls, but what a neighborhood it was!! The neighborhood itself was set a ways back from the hustle and bustle of the city, kind of back in its own nook. The street was narrow and there were no curbs. It went from street to lawn (reminded me of the Keys). On the left side of the street were these huge, beautiful houses made of brick and marble with small, manicured front laws. On the right side, the houses were on these huge lots, comprised only of grass, set very far back off the street. The houses themselves were pretty small, a little shabby, but clean. Of course, my little brain was hoping the address was from one of the beautiful houses and I kept that in mind as I began to ride my bike down the street. I rode up and down, up and down and I could not seem to find this address. Finally, I decided to walk and maybe I would find it if I was looking a bit harder. I heard these kids yelling down the block and I headed for that area. It was at one of the shabby houses. The house reminded me of the house I grew up in on the farm in Osgood. I could hear a woman yelling inside. I didn't know if she was yelling at the kids inside or if there was someone in the house she was yelling at. I was creeping around when the kids found me. They demanded to know what I was doing there, sneaking around their house. I said boldly, "I need to speak to your Mother about some urgent business." The kids' eyes grew wide and they said to follow them. They took me to the back door, upon which I knocked. A woman came to the door, very white trash, looked like Courtney Love from Hole. She wanted to know what I was doing there. I said that I had received a communiqué from her stating that she was my real mother. She got the biggest smile ever on her face and ushered me indoors. I could smell spaghetti simmering and the house (which I don't remember indoor details) was clean and warm. She said to me, "Honey. I'm so glad you came. Listen, I want you to give this to your Mom, okay?" It was an envelope. She said it was very important that I didn't read it. She asked me to deliver it right away. Being overwhelmed, I did just that. For some reason, the dream temptation to read the letter wasn't there. I felt an urgency to get this letter to my mother. My Mother, while I had been away on my bike ride, had started some high fashion business. When I got to our house, it was filled with strangers all demanding her time. I pushed my way through and gave her the letter. She read it and asked me who the person was. I gave a brief explanation while she listened attentively. She said that the woman was looking for a job; she had heard that my Mom was starting a fashion business and she was an out of work designer, could my Mom give her a chance? I was bewildered to say the least! How could this woman toy with my emotions like that? Being a dream, I got over it rather fast and told my Mom to give the lady a chance. (Doh!) I was bewildered by the whole situation. So, my Mom set up shop in Pocatello in my Granny's house. Probably the worst place in the world to run a high fashion business, but this was a dream. It was late one night, I was exhausted from working so much overtime with my Mom. Many people were still up and working when I headed off for bead. Some time later, I was rudely awoken by banging and the sound of people yelling. I went to my Granny's back door and looked out into the garage. There was this old couple and a young man about 13. They asked to come in, so I let them in. The woman, who looked like she came straight out of the sixties, starting telling me a story about her grandson, the young man, getting his picture taken. She said that, at first, it was a terrible picture, the hues made him look sick and drab. She said after that, the lighting was fixed and the film changed, blah, blah, blah, and presto! Her words, "All the colors just poured off the photograph, dear. Colors like lemon and rust." WTF? She really needed to speak to my Mom about a job. I was then really awoken by some pounding at my own door. (I couldn't help but wonder if it was that pounding that inspired the last part of my dream?) Any ways, I woke up and I never did know if the old woman was wanting a job for herself as a photographer or for her grandson as a model? (The knocker at my door was my sons friend wanting to come play.) Strange things are a foot at the Circle K, my friends. |W|P|109976932418774011|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/05/2004 07:20:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|I've come to a conclusion regarding the truth about Halloween candy. It's not really for children. Well, maybe a few pieces, but the vast majority of it is taken by sick, sugar starved parents who hoard their children's Halloween booty. Surely I am not the only one out there pawing through the fake plastic jack-o-lantern, bypassing substandards such as tootsie rolls and smarties, looking for the good stuff? i.e. Chocolate. Imagine the look on the monsters precious faces when they discover that someone has been eating their Halloween candy. Imagine me making up some pathetic story about a melting incident. Bad Mommy. Teehee. Later, gators. |W|P|109970765731530927|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/04/2004 04:43:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P| So. I was too upset to post yesterday. Crushed. Devastated. Heartbroken. Withdrawn. Sullen. Taken aback. Sour. Bitter. Pissed. Livid. Exhausted. George fucking Bush, man. What is wrong with this country that people still believe in him? I am honestly still in a state of shock. That's about all I'm gonna say about that. For now. |W|P|109961301152634278|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/02/2004 08:39:00 PM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|I've resorted to cookies and milk. Which means that I have blown off my diet for desperate need of creature comforts. This election had got my gut in Eagle Scout caliber knots. At times, I can't bear to look at the tv. But I absolutely can't stop watching the coverage. I'm watching it on MSNBC with Chris Matthews. He's no Tom Brokaw, but I don't have reception for network tv, so MSNBC it is. Voting was the highlight of my day. :-) The low point? Pardon my french, but it's fucking freezing here today. (Yes, Mom, the F word has reared its ugly head- but it *is* way past noon!) My furnace is broken and I'm hudling around an oil-filled radiant heater and under tons of blankets. A guy is coming to fix it on Thursday, but until then....sheesh. It snowed a few inches last night and probably about one inch today. It's pretty and very uncharacteristic of Clovis, so I am going to enjoy it while it lasts. Well, I need to get back ot my election coverage and get my tootsies into some blankets! Hopefully, the next time I write, John F. Kerry will be President of the USA!!!! |W|P|109945319923604121|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com11/01/2004 09:32:00 AM|W|P|taoofcoffee|W|P|Ahhhh....there's nothing quite like spreading the love, er, tumbleweeds around. This morning, as I hurtled my way to school at approximately 110mph, I ran into what I would call "Tumbleweed Alley." Quite literally, hundreds of tumbleweeds were making their way, en masse, to the other side of the highway. Some absurd human being in front of me was traveling at ~20mph, trying with all her misguided might to avoid them. I blew past her and proceeded to blast through these amusing "foes." Instead of feeling the need to swerve them, I wanted to annihilate them. I was about 90% successful, I think. Any ways, I was running super late for school because I was stuck behind a train that BNSF thought to stop right on the crossing. (I do plan on calling and complaining!) So, as I arrived to school, I didn't have time to check for cling-ons. When I came out after class, it looked like tumbleweeds were trying to eat my car from the front back. I hastily kicked them off my grill (as nonchalantly as possible, of course) and hopped in my car, hoping that my deeds had gone unrecognized. I then peeked out to see what the tumbleweeds were up to. Attacking students!! *LMAO* My stowaways were chasing the students thanks to the freak wind storm we are experiencing today (I say freak as if it is not perfectly natural to have wind here). The funniest thing was seeing their facial expressions and what they were communicating, like, "Whoa. Where in the hell did these tumbleweeds come from??" Or, "Oh, shit!! Somebody get this tumbleweed offa me!" I'll tell you what, I haven't laughed like that in a good while. What a way to start off the day! So, now that I am self-satisfied and smug, I am going to attend the remainder of my classes so that I can get humbled again. At least today, I am halfway armed against the battle of the curriculum. P.S. I am positively sick to my stomach over the elections being held tomorrow.|W|P|109932746953417885|W|P||W|P|taoofcoffee@gmail.com